Thursday, 1 November 2012

A week has flown by

Missy has been with us for 7 days now, though it feels like 7 weeks!    This is the first chance I've had to blog because 6.30am - 7.45pm is Missy time and after that I am, frankly, knackered.

However, we've now established a little routine and I'm feeling a little less overwhelmed by it all, so I'm taking the chance to have a cheeky drink and 10 mins on the PC.

The last week has been full on.  We've played lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots.  We've been to the park a few times, we've walked round to the local shops.  We managed the local big shop as Missy desperately needed some warm winter clothes and we even braved Ikea (yes in half term!) so we could buy Missy her own table and chair on which to do her colouring in the back room.  The dining room carpet and table was in danger after a few days as Missy is a profuse artist.  At Ikea, lunchtime meatballs passed without incident as did the toilet stop. On the way back we stopped to feed some ducks at a local pond.

Missy has had someone to play with for the whole time she has been awake, either mummy or daddy or both of us, as this will help with settling in and attachment.  Now, I'm no expert, but I'd say Missy has settled in pretty well so far.  She's been completely dry which is a pleasant surprise as she had lots of accidents at the foster carers.  We've only had two mini-tantrums that were over in minutes.  We have had quite a few strops though; she doesn't like the word 'no' (what child does?) and she can be extremely controlling in play.  Everything needs to be her idea and if we pick up a toy whilst she is playing with something else, then she will immediately want what we have.  It's exhausting. She has previously been very used to having her own way.  But I also find it really interesting watching the cogs in her mind tick over and often go into overdrive.  She has a very vivid imagination, which sometimes needs to be reigned in and I do wonder if she is trying to tell us something through her play or whether it's just stuff she's picked  up (from real life or tv) or it's just her imagination going into top gear. She also bends the truth somewhat. We need to make sure she understands we are here to keep her safe and secure and we reinforce this message a lot.  We need to help her control her own emotions as children and particularly adopted children can't manage this themselves.

Missy is calling me mummy more and more although still does call me by my first name.  Daddy is called daddy, although a little less than I am called mummy.  We think it's because she's never had a daddy and probably doesn't really understand what a daddy does.  In fact I asked her this morning when she was getting dressed if she knew what a daddy does and she said she didn't know.  So I said he does the same things as mummy ie, look after her, keep her safe and secure and loved forever.   But mummy is who she often calls for more but then I think a lot of children do that, adopted or not, and actually after one week I'm really pleased she feels able to do that.

On the whole Missy has been a delight, very funny and has the most gorgeous smile and laugh.  In fact, demanding as she is, her behaviour has been much easier than we had expected.  OK, it has only been a week and there are plenty of boundaries to push ahead of us but we're pretty pleased with how it's going so far.  She eats well, will try all new foods put in front of her, sleeps like a log and is learning quickly. Playtime with daddy alone will usually ensure some raucous laughter - this evening she was beside herself because of a game she and daddy were playing.  She loves her rough and tumble.

Missy had declared she'd like to go to football, ballet and elastics (she means gymnastics).  We'll look into this in the New Year as although she'll be at school soon (more on this in another blog) we want her at home the rest of the day to continue the bonding and attachment.  However, I really can't see her as a ballet dancer, more of a street dancer!  Football would be good though. Daddy reckons a kung-fu fighter!

In the meantime, we will continue as we are doing and see how week 2 goes.

Back to that cheeky drink.


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