Wednesday 28 November 2012

Emotions all over the place

Monday morning, after sobbing over a coffee in Costa and in the supermarket when Daddy rang, I rang our SW who was very supportive.  SWs are there to help and we will be using them as much as possible.  I hear of other adopters who don't have good relationships with their SWs which is sad as adoption certainly can't be done alone.

I cried down the phone to her. I explained I felt like I wanted my old life back, how I was panicking, off food (very unlike me), diminishing attachment and not sleeping.  She listened and also gave some ideas of why I was feeling like I do.  She also wanted me to go to the GPs, but I won't because I am very anti anti-depressants, they only mask the symptom, not help the problem.

Daddy said it was obvious I don't want to be in the same room as LO and whilst he is doing his best, if there was a speech bubble above his head I know it would be saying things akin to how I feel.   We want the best for each other, nothing will get in between us and at the moment Missy is making us feel very negative.  I'll rephrase that - Missy being here is making us feel very negative.  I'm not blaming her, she doesn't understand her behaviour and the trauma she has been through will be reflected in this behaviour.

So yesterday two SWs came to visit me.  Unfortunately Daddy was at work so couldn't join in the conversation. As soon as I started to speak I cried and the tears didn't stop for nearly two hours.  I explained exactly how I felt and right there and then, sat on the sofa, I honestly felt I wanted Missy to go and for my life to get back to how it was. Horrible I know.

However, they sat, they listened, they offered suggestions and possible ways forward and they are coming back one evening next week so that Daddy can speak to them too.

Last night Missy was relatively ok in her behaviour. We watched Cinderella which I've actually never watched before in my life.  Lovely film but I did have to do a running commentary.  At other times it is like she is possessed.  The Exorcist film springs to mind, sorry but it does.  The devil appeared at tea time, at times it's quite frightening to see this little 5 year old act like she does.  I tried a calming strategy suggested by the SWs but she thought it was a great game and ran round the living room.

She wet herself in the night and her crying woke Daddy up.  Poor thing.  We sorted her out and calmed her and all went back to bed.  This morning I still feel panicky and am just going through the motions of caring.  Of course, the level of care will not diminish.  I will give her the utmost care, but love too ....?   Daddy also obviously was not feeling his best and had the 'whatever' attitude.   So on top of my negative feelings I now also feel very guilty.  What if this adoption did disrupt?  Yes, I'm using that term already as I feel that low.  What additional trauma would we place on Missy?

SWs want me to be good to myself.  So I'm going shopping and then I'll go visit Daddy at work before picking up Missy.

Sunday 25 November 2012

Not a good weekend

This weekend has been crap, if I'm honest.  I feel so incredibly low.

I've had a cold since Friday, a full blow whopper of a cold, and I've had horrible toothache in a tooth that I had filled a few months ago.  I suspect this means root canal treatment is on the cards which scares me.  But the biggest issue is that I've had several panic attacks regarding the adoption.

Friday night/Saturday morning I was lying in bed, nose permanently running, thinking about the future and a wave of panic washed over me.  I had to get up and walk round, and then decided to have a hot drink and turn on the TV.  "The Bucket List" film was on which I'd always wanted to see.  It's a great film starring Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson, playing two guys who have cancer and write a list of things they want to do before they 'kick the bucket'. It's funny, honestly.  And touching.

Yesterday I just wanted to curl up alone whilst Daddy went to work, but there was a small matter of a 5 year old who needs constant attention.  What I really wanted to do when she told me yet another fact or fib, or something that I had to pretend to be, was "yeah whatever". Of course, I didn't.  I joined in as much as I could but also just had to rest on the sofa too.  I was in no mood for her tantrums which unfortunately numbered several yesterday, over the slightest thing.  Missy decided she was clumsy after hearing the word on Cbeebies.  I said she wasn't which she took great offense at, folded her arms, humphed at me, went to other end of sofa and told me not to touch her.  Whatever.  When Daddy rang to see how I was I just burst into tears.  He admitted too that he wasn't feeling much of an attachment.

I didn't sleep much at all again last night due to toothache, cold and panic but Daddy was lovely and let me lie in til midday whilst he took charge.  Another wave of panic washed over me whilst lying in bed - is this it, is this our future?  It scares me, I'll be totally honest.  I'm not sure I can cope.  Having thoughts such as how lovely it would be to have Christmas just the two of us, or how maybe I could just escape to Mum's for a few days can't be right.   Perhaps I have post adoption depression, I don't know.

Missy was pretty good this morning on the whole but had a tantrum earlier when I asked her to put her socks on and blow her nose.  I try to do the whole therapeutic parenting thing, not raise my voice etc but I'm worn out.  Daddy did the same and somehow he usually manages to turn tears into laughter.  He's taken Missy out for an hour and half so just me and my lovely cats are here now.  I've just rung my Mum for some support, she's been so lovely, I wish she lived nearer.  And now I'm putting stuff down in words with tears streaming down my eyes.  Maybe it's the cold and toothache is just making me feel really low.  I think of my friend who has three children, one with ADHD and a little boy same age as Missy who is autistic and wonder how she copes.  In my eyes she is Wonder Woman.  Hopefully I'll feel better once I actually get better, and we'll speak to our social worker this week too.  Not a good weekend.

Wednesday 21 November 2012

What do you get if you cross a 2 year old having a tantrum with Kevin the Teenager?

Answer:  our adorable 5 year old.

Being at school full time now is bringing more changes in Missy's behaviour.  Also, as the days go by we are getting to know and understand her just that bit better and the main issue we can see is control.  She is very happy to help me but hates us helping her eg putting her clothes on, cutting up food, playing with toys.  Hates it with a capital H.  This morning we had a full on tantrum with her demanding I didn't touch her, until Daddy came upstairs to see what the shouting was all about it and explain that the neighbours could hear.  A minute later she's fine.  So, we have another catch up meeting with our social worker and family finding social worker tomorrow and I will find out what support they can offer to help us with the control issue.

Yesterday we had our Adoption Review with Missy's social worker, the Independent Reviewer and the family finding social worker. All are happy with progress so far and we have agreed no more visits to see the foster carer, although FC will be asked to send a few postcards over the next few months as part of the separation and loss treatment.

I had coffee yesterday with one of my best friends who also happens to be an adopter of nearly 11 years and her advice is always extremely welcome.  Actually I nearly burst into tears in the cafe before she arrived as I think I was so relieved just to be able to talk to someone who had been there.  I didn't though.

So, I've been collecting Missy after school and I know this is stressing me out believe it or not.  I'm actually quite a shy person and in some situations find it hard to chat to people.  A lot of the mums know each other already from when their child was in nursery, but I'm sure in time I'll get to know some.  Daddy on the other hand has made a friend - turns out the dad of one of Missy's classmates was at Daddy's work a few days ago.

Right, things to do - I need to do through the Adoption Support Plan again in readiness for tomorrow's meeting and see what was promised to us.  Plus I need to register Missy at the local GP. I rang them this morning and the lady I spoke to said they had nothing on file about her even though a letter was sent to them from Missy's SW with some reports.  Not a good start.  After much searching, turns out it's under my file. Plus, I need to get ingredients ready for Oat & Fruit Bars that we are making when she gets home.

Sunday 18 November 2012

So proud

I'm so proud of our little girl.  She came home from school last Friday with a certificate, a Unicef Rights & Respect Award from school for settling in so well in her first week.  Brilliant!  I can't wait for her to show her social worker next week.

Yesterday was a really good day, the best so far (told you it was a rollercoaster).  It was the first day since Missy arrived that I've had her the whole day by myself as Daddy was at work.  Every evening we run through with Missy what is happening the next day, and we also do this again in the morning.  So I set out the agenda for the day:  breakfast, bath and wash hair, then mummy needed to clear leaves from front garden and do some other housey jobs, then snack time, play, lunch, play/watch film, then Play Doh whilst mummy made dinner, play, tidy and quiet time, bedtime.   Normally she hates it when I do jobs but yesterday she was very good and either sat quietly and watched her programmes or stood on the doorstep whilst I cleared the leaves, directing me as to which leaves to clear.  

Play was good, we made a brilliant picture with tissue paper, a tissue paper poppy and did a letter to Santa (more of a drawing than a letter).  We also played hairdressers - she has learnt to tie hair in a ponytail by herself this weekend so spent ages practising on me - and we played shops.  Then we watched 101 Dalmatians, the 1996 version with the real dogs.  On the whole she sat well and watched it, although I did have to explain quite a few things.  She also got a bit bored towards the end and started dancing.

Whilst I made dinner, she played with her Play Doh.  I hate the smell of Play Doh, not the same as when I was little, and it gives me a headache so a great excuse not to play with it and allow her to play by herself.  Missy usually moans that she hates playing by herself so I was so pleased that yesterday she did so beautifully  occasionally running in to see me in the kitchen with her latest creation or I went in to see what she was doing.

After dinner she  again played by herself by which time was Daddy was home.  Then she tidied away nicely and happily went up to bed for a story.   A great day, albeit exhausting and Missy was certainly ready for sleep whilst I was ready for a cheeky drink and a huge bar of chocolate.

Today Daddy was off work and plans included breaky, play, light lunch, walk, Christmas fayre, roast dinner, which I'm just cooking.  On the whole ok but there were a few shout the house down crying tantrums before we went out, including being asked not to swing camera against the wall, so of course she swung it against the wall. Daddy has now confiscated the camera.  Then a few tantrums over not wanting me to help her dress and over which shoes to wear.  

I love having a 5 year old but not so delighted having a 5 year old with 2 year old tantrums but it comes with the adoption territory.  Daddy and I are learning how to handle these tantrums and we can certainly see some huge positive changes in Missy over the last 3 weeks.  Lots to learn, lots more tantrums to come out but the positives are definitely outweighing the negatives right now.

Friday 16 November 2012

Life is a rollercoaster

Life is a rollercoaster, never more so than these last few days.   Yesterday we had to go meet Missy's foster carer at a local cafe.  As mentioned before, I was not looking forward to this as it clearly unsettles Missy.  She wet the bed the night before last and also at school yesterday (although didn't tell anyone) and again yesterday afternoon (but didn't tell me, I only realised when she took her clothes off for bathtime).  At the meeting she was calling the FC mummy and has called me by the FC's name today.  I was also not happy that FC was asking for hugs which I'm sure can't be appropriate.

Yesterday afternoon after we returned from seeing FC, her behaviour clearly demonstrated her anxiety with one massive tantrum (think two year old), three mini tantrums and lots of tears.  She wouldn't take her school bag and water bottle into the house from the car and demanded I did it as I was nearer (I wasn't) and after playing shops she had the biggest tantrum because I dropped a cat toy on the floor (where it usually lives) which had been in her 'shop'.  Proper full on ground-thumping shouting the house down tantrum.  It's so sad to see but I attempted to remain calm and employed some therapeutic parenting.  Later on Missy also was monumentally upset that I had to stop playing whilst I made her dinner, finished changing her bed and then when I did a countdown to bathtime (which she usually loves) and going to bed. I wonder whether she had every been left alone for long periods by birth mum and is remembering the anxiety she felt then?

In fact everything upset her yesterday afternoon.  This is not good for a little 5 year old who has made enormous progress over the last few weeks.  It's also  not good for Mummy who also got rather overwhelmed and burst into tears when Daddy got home at 8pm. I'm getting more used to how to respond to her and how to help her but it's heartbreaking to see her like this and I hate that fact that for a fleeting moment I wonder whether we've done the right thing to adopt.

Today though it's clear we have, of course, done the right thing.  Today Daddy is not working which meant I managed a sneaky 10 minutes in bed by myself once he'd gone downstairs with young lady.  She gave me a massive hug in bed and before school, and whilst getting ready she said that she hadn't been a good girl yesterday because she was crying.  Oh bless her.  Daddy and I spent a little time explaining that crying doesn't mean she wasn't a good girl.  Today so far she has been gorgeous, funny, loving and smart.

I decided to call her social worker to tell about events of the last few days.  She totally agrees with me that the FC visit is clearly unsettling and will put our views across that another visit is not in her best interests.   I felt much better after speaking with her.  And Daddy and I are going to reinforce the message to Missy about being with us forever.

So, Missy is at school, Daddy has gone to MOT his car whilst I've found some time to continue sorting old paperwork and found I have a dormant bank account with a whopping £11.40 in it!!  Hurrah, that'll pay for lunch out today.

Thursday 15 November 2012

Back to school

This week our little Angel went to her new school for the first time.  We are so happy to have got her into our second choice school and as it turns out I think it will work better than the school we had as first choice. It was a bit last minute though as the school only got official confirmation from the LA last week which gave us two days to sort uniform, fill out forms and allow Missy a few days to get used to the idea of going to school.

Missy had previously been to nursery and spent a few weeks in Reception class where she used to live with foster carers and, having spoken with the Head and KS1 teacher there, we knew she liked school and had been doing really well.  She was very much looking forward to going to school and  I think she was actually getting a bit bored staying in all day, which she had done for four weeks.

First day was absolutely fine, no tears at all. Her teacher is very happy with her and she loves doing her homework (until the novelty wears off!).  She's certainly a quick learner.  We explained to the teacher that she is very controlling in play and likes to lead play so it will be interesting to find out how well she shares the activities.  She knows about sharing at home but did have a few tears this week when she declared she didn't like taking turns.

This week is just part time to ease her in and continue the attachment building at home. Unfortunately Daddy has gone back to work this week but his hours means he can always have breakfast with us and take her school which is fab.  So far he's been getting home just in time for bedtime story.

I thought her behaviour might change but so far so good (ok, I know it's only been a few days).  She has picked up a new phrase though - "cool dude". LOL.

We have the second contact meeting with the foster carer today.  The family finder social worker is very keen that this goes ahead but, as last week, Missy had an accident, a sure sign of her anxiety.  Last night she wet the bed for the first time so I've been busy cleaning this morning.  We'll see how she is later this afternoon and tomorrow but if she shows signs of anxiety again then I will strongly resist further contact.  Anxiety changes physiology with stress hormones coursing around the body and that is not good for any one.

In other news, we made salmon fishcakes last night which were delicious but how come Angel was much messier than the little children on I Can Cook on Cbeebies?  :-)

Sunday 11 November 2012

Meeting Grandma for first time

Today Missy met my Mum for the first time and it all went really well.  Missy was good as gold and definitely showed a positive awareness of people she doesn't know which is good.  Saying that, she was happy to include Grandma in things like pretend cups of tea and cake.

The day began with Daddy letting me have a lie in :-) before they went to play football in the local park whilst I sorted a few things out for Grandma's visit.  Usually I see my Mum once a week or so but haven't seen her for several weeks since beginning of Introductions so it was extra lovely to see her today.  Grandma was fantastic and very positive towards Missy.  Actually I knew she would be brilliant at being a Grandma to someone who doesn't come from her flesh and blood since she her first experience of being a Grandma was to my brother's step-children before he had a birth child, and a fine job she has done.  One thing that was hard was not allowing Mum to give cuddles or sit next to her grandchild at lunch.  It's all part of the 'funnelling' that we need to do, all part of the attachment building so that Missy continues to learn who are her primary caregivers.  Of course, in time, Grandma can do all the usual things a Grandma does.

As it's Remembrance Sunday, we had the TV on to watch the events from the Cenotaph. I had explained to Missy yesterday about being as quiet as a mouse at 11am and reminded her again this morning. She didn't think she could do it but at 11am when the cannon sounded and Big Ben struck, she was absolutely brilliant and we didn't hear a peep. She probably still doesn't understand why she had to be quiet, nevertheless I'm so proud of her and straight after she continued to serve tea, cake and lemon coffee.

Missy has been using the word Daddy far far more this weekend which is great, rather than using his first name.  I think they've bonded over bath time, running and rough & tumble, all of which she loves to do.  Daddy played with Missy a huge amount yesterday which gave me a welcome break after my tears on Friday.

In other news, it was outrageous that Kimberely was in the bottom two on Strictly and that Rylan is still in XFactor.

Saturday 10 November 2012

A few tears

A few tears were shed yesterday.  Not just from Missy but from me as well.

Missy was full on yesterday and wanted to play with me all the time.  For the most part I obliged and Daddy joined in too as I'd hate to look back on this time and regret not playing with my beautiful daughter.  Her behaviour was great all day, just a couple of mini-strops over things that I can't even remember now. But by the time 6.30pm came I was done in.

I needed some time out and tried my best to watch Strictly It Takes Two during which Daddy took Missy up for her bath.  Ahhhh, some (relatively) quiet time to myself for 10 minutes.  Daddy is great with Missy at bathtime but seems to get as wet as she does!  It was my turn to read the story but I was so tired that I just sat on her bed whilst Daddy read the book (same book third night running), which he does very well.

Downstairs, after she settled down, I burst into tears.  Just overwhelmed.  And having woken up at 5am for the last two weeks, I was just knackered.

We had the weekly visit from the social workers yesterday too which seemed to go well.  Missy demonstrated that she is settling in well and building attachment.  Unfortunately the family finding social worker still wants us to have contact with the foster carer, with a meeting arranged next week.  If Missy is unsettled by this one as she was the last time, we will put our foot down.  It's going to be hard enough for her with starting school next week and no doubt her anxiety levels will be higher than usual so to have a foster carer meet up is going to add to the anxiety mix.

So far today Daddy has been playing with Missy whilst I've done some chores and caught up with a few things.  I definitely feel a bit calmer.  Although I'm not sure it's right that I'm looking forward to doing some ironing.

Friday 9 November 2012

Time flies

Two weeks passed already, wow time flies when you have a child.

We've done lots since the last blog post.  Missy isn't starting until school next week (got our second choice school but quite happy with it)  so we've had more time to bond and build attachment.

Last weekend we met up with the foster carers which always happens a week into adoption placements.  Whilst we can't deny the foster carer did a great job, we felt she was far too huggy on placement day which the social workers also recognised.  She was advised to be a little less tactile on our contact day and it was only supposed to be her and her husband.  Unfortunately she also brought her own boys along and was again too tactile in my opinion.  Little wonder then that the next day, last Sunday, Missy showed signs of anxiety and wet herself three times in one day.

One lovely thing that happened on Sunday though was that Missy wanted to go 'jogging' with Daddy who has started running again.  It was absolutely pouring it down with rain so we asked several times but she was still keen.  We dressed her up in her jogging bottoms, trainers, warm clothes and rain jacket plus Daddy's bright running hat and off they went!  I thought they'd be back within a minute, assuming she'd hate the rain but, no, ten minutes later returned.  Apparently she was brilliant and jogged all the way and back for half a mile!!  So proud of her.  We all went out yesterday and she beat me back (I was pooped!)

On the whole she has been wonderful.  But we have had some strops and some tears, mostly when we aren't giving her the attention she wants. She is very demanding when it comes to attention and at times it's quite wearing. Daddy and I play a lot with her together but sometimes we let the other one take a breather - although I have noticed that Daddy is doing a lot of cleaning :-)

We haven't had any major tantrums though which is great and we are finding that fine line between giving her the attention she deserves and missed out on when she was with birth mum, and giving her attention just because she has demanded it.  She has great manners for the most part and we have taught her to say excuse me if she wants one us whilst we are talking to each other.  She is also getting much better when asking for things, rather than just saying "I want juice", she will now sweetly say "can I have some juice please".

So far so good.

Friday 2 November 2012

Two hours in the park

Two hours in the park is enough to wipe out a 5 year old.  Not that I'm cheering that we've got an extra half an hour to ourselves or anything, of course not ;-)

We had lunch in a local cafe earlier, to which I shall definitely return.  I'd always thought it was a greasy spoon type of cafe but there wasn't an egg and chips in sight. In fact it was quite posh. Very nice.  Whilst here I learnt another thing I need to carry round with me - coloured pencils.  I've added this to the list of wet wipes and tissues so far that I constantly need on me.  Anything else?

We allowed Missy a glass of lemonade as it was proper real lemon-ade, not the crappy stuff.  Fizzy drinks are going to be an occasional treat and cola is a complete no-no in this house.   An hour later in the park, Missy had her first little accident of the wet variety and we think it was possibly down to the fizz.

After the playground, we walked around the park meeting several dogs on the way.  I've always been a bit nervous of dogs, but I don't want Missy to be scared so did my best to stand still and not run away, even when the puppy rottweiler came over to play (which incidentally will grow to 9 stone!).  Daddy swung Missy around and around which she absolutely loved.  When Missy finds something really funny, she has the most gorgeous smile and infectious laugh.

By the time we'd got home we'd been out for three hours - one hour lunch and and two hours in the park.  After making a fabulous piece of artwork with real leaves, all Missy's own work, and the obligatory visit to the pretend hairdressers, it was time for dinner.

So far Missy has been excellent at dinner time.  I did have a food strategy in place, expecting a fussy eater to be living with us, but I've not needed to call up on it as she eats everything and happy to try new foods (or indeed foods she said she didn't like but actually turned out she does like).  But tonight she decided she didn't like mince, until we pointed out it was the same mince as in meatballs, burgers and lasagne that she has eaten.  She did start to eat it but was very whiny.  The park had wiped her out and she was too tired to eat.  We explained that food to a person is like the batteries we had just put in her toy ie, energy to make things work, and that helped her understand she needed to eat a bit, although we did compromise a lot tonight (Daddy is going to have to watch his waistline methinks, since he eats all the leftovers).  Quiet time on the sofa after tea was very sleepy time so we took her up early.

Today she has been calling us by our first names a little more than the last few days, and started doing this after we explained we were meeting up with the foster carers tomorrow for a drink.  Not sure if the two are related but I do think it's confused her a little.  We must reinforce tomorrow that all three of us are coming back here and we are not leaving her with the foster carer.

Would it be bad of mummy to eat the chocolate in the fridge we bought for Missy but she was too tired to eat, as long as I replace it tomorrow?  :-)

Thursday 1 November 2012

A week has flown by

Missy has been with us for 7 days now, though it feels like 7 weeks!    This is the first chance I've had to blog because 6.30am - 7.45pm is Missy time and after that I am, frankly, knackered.

However, we've now established a little routine and I'm feeling a little less overwhelmed by it all, so I'm taking the chance to have a cheeky drink and 10 mins on the PC.

The last week has been full on.  We've played lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots.  We've been to the park a few times, we've walked round to the local shops.  We managed the local big shop as Missy desperately needed some warm winter clothes and we even braved Ikea (yes in half term!) so we could buy Missy her own table and chair on which to do her colouring in the back room.  The dining room carpet and table was in danger after a few days as Missy is a profuse artist.  At Ikea, lunchtime meatballs passed without incident as did the toilet stop. On the way back we stopped to feed some ducks at a local pond.

Missy has had someone to play with for the whole time she has been awake, either mummy or daddy or both of us, as this will help with settling in and attachment.  Now, I'm no expert, but I'd say Missy has settled in pretty well so far.  She's been completely dry which is a pleasant surprise as she had lots of accidents at the foster carers.  We've only had two mini-tantrums that were over in minutes.  We have had quite a few strops though; she doesn't like the word 'no' (what child does?) and she can be extremely controlling in play.  Everything needs to be her idea and if we pick up a toy whilst she is playing with something else, then she will immediately want what we have.  It's exhausting. She has previously been very used to having her own way.  But I also find it really interesting watching the cogs in her mind tick over and often go into overdrive.  She has a very vivid imagination, which sometimes needs to be reigned in and I do wonder if she is trying to tell us something through her play or whether it's just stuff she's picked  up (from real life or tv) or it's just her imagination going into top gear. She also bends the truth somewhat. We need to make sure she understands we are here to keep her safe and secure and we reinforce this message a lot.  We need to help her control her own emotions as children and particularly adopted children can't manage this themselves.

Missy is calling me mummy more and more although still does call me by my first name.  Daddy is called daddy, although a little less than I am called mummy.  We think it's because she's never had a daddy and probably doesn't really understand what a daddy does.  In fact I asked her this morning when she was getting dressed if she knew what a daddy does and she said she didn't know.  So I said he does the same things as mummy ie, look after her, keep her safe and secure and loved forever.   But mummy is who she often calls for more but then I think a lot of children do that, adopted or not, and actually after one week I'm really pleased she feels able to do that.

On the whole Missy has been a delight, very funny and has the most gorgeous smile and laugh.  In fact, demanding as she is, her behaviour has been much easier than we had expected.  OK, it has only been a week and there are plenty of boundaries to push ahead of us but we're pretty pleased with how it's going so far.  She eats well, will try all new foods put in front of her, sleeps like a log and is learning quickly. Playtime with daddy alone will usually ensure some raucous laughter - this evening she was beside herself because of a game she and daddy were playing.  She loves her rough and tumble.

Missy had declared she'd like to go to football, ballet and elastics (she means gymnastics).  We'll look into this in the New Year as although she'll be at school soon (more on this in another blog) we want her at home the rest of the day to continue the bonding and attachment.  However, I really can't see her as a ballet dancer, more of a street dancer!  Football would be good though. Daddy reckons a kung-fu fighter!

In the meantime, we will continue as we are doing and see how week 2 goes.

Back to that cheeky drink.

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