Sunday 31 May 2015

I've started but I won't finish

This past week Missy has started a paper mâché thing (not entirely sure what it was meant to be), a crochet owl, a story, a necklace, a picture, several loom band charms and a computer out of a cereal box.  Last week she half made a robot out of boxes, started several crochet items, some drawings, more loom band charms.  She has several kits started and deconstructed.  She played on the trampoline for 15 minutes, she went on her scooter for 20 mins, she read a book for two minutes, she played with her Barbies for five minutes, she wanted to help me in the garden and managed three minutes before she got bored.  She finds it hard to play with her toys, she doesn't read books much.

There are so many projects started and not finished in this house.  I now ask people not to buy kits for her because she just takes out the pieces and they end up being half used for some other creation rather than the item itself.  Once she is back to school next Tuesday I shall spend the morning sorting out what is worth keeping.

Now, I don't suppose she's too unusual from most 7 year olds with a very short attention span.  She has no diagnosis of ADHD.  In fact the recent experience with CAMHS was over in a flash.  They see no mental or neurological issues at all with Missy and have referred us back to Post Adoption Support who I hope won't gloss over the "I want to kill yous" and the time last week when she tried to stab me with a fork.

I'm actually not too bothered that she wants to do lots of things (although give her a swimming pool in Greece and she'll be happy as larry for the whole day).  It's when she has decided its time to move on and then comes to me saying she is bored - it's then the fireworks start.  I suggest something - "NOOOOOOA". I suggest something else "Nooooooooooooooooo!!".  She asks me for five suggestions which I duly give.  She doesn't like any of them and her anger rises.  "I'm bored!" she yells at me.  I offer to play with her and suggest Lego or drawing but her need for control overtakes any joy that might arise from us playing together. She shouts at me to go away, that she wants to be alone.  I wonder out loud if anything is wrong. Nooooo, just go away!   Then she wants a hug, then she is rude, then she wants more suggestions of what to do.  I suggest things, she hates all of them and by now she is raging.  I try to stay therapeutic but it's hard.  She stomps off upstairs.   Five minutes later she will come down, much calmer, having decided on something to do, which wasn't one of my suggestions.  Hurrah!  This will keep her amused for 15-20 minutes, half an hour if I'm lucky, before she states again that she is bored and asks what she can do. Round and round we go.

It's been a long half term.  We had one lovely day out which I'll blog about separately but the rest has been tough.  I've already started to think how to fill the days of the long summer holidays.

In other news, she absolutely loved her newly decorated bedroom which I did whilst she and Daddy were visiting family.  So much for a restful two days by myself! Phew!  But the look on her face when she saw her room was priceless.

Saturday 9 May 2015

My heart can never get empty

From Missy to me and Daddy.

"I love you lots. My heart is filled with lots of love from you.

My heart can never get empty! xx "

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