Sunday 15 May 2016

A good weekend

Remember my post, The Adoption Marathon, comparing adoption life to training for a marathon? Well, if we were training then this weekend would be an 'easy run'.

Daddy and I decided a while back to have a rare night out last Friday, so we called on my Mum to babysit.  Before Missy joined us, we went out once to a wonderful local restaurant, ooh at least four years ago. As we had good memories of it, we decided to return.  Missy was fine about it, no negative behaviours, no separation anxiety.  So we had a lovely evening.

On the way there I text Missy's friend's mum about picking up said friend on the way to a Brownie activity day on Saturday.  Friend's mum replied, thanked me for the offer and in return invited Missy to have a sleepover with friend after the Brownie activity.

We ummed and ahhed, whilst in the pub, for a few minutes.  Would it be too much for her after a full day, was it too short notice, would she be ok generally?  We decided that as she'd been to her friend's house a few times and she had been away from us for two nights during the past year, that it would be ok and I accepted the kind offer from friend's mum.

On Saturday morning when Missy got up, I reminded her we needed to pack waterproof coat, trainers, and lunch for Brownies plus toothbrush and PJs.  She looked at me quizzically and then asked "Am I staying at Es?" followed by a very loud "Yes!!"   Her excitement level just shot up and she dived out of bed to get everything ready.

The rest of the day was lovely and quiet.  We went shopping with my Mum and had a lovely coffee and cake.  I got on with some course work and in the evening, rather than going out again, OH and I treated ourselves to steak and chips with a yummy dessert.  We then settled down to watch Eurovision.  Friend's mum text to say everything was fine and I replied saying Missy could call us anytime if she was worried, but that call never came.

This morning, we had a leisurely wake up and cuppa in bed.  I managed some more work before Missy was dropped back about 10am.  She'd had a wonderful time, was good as gold (always is away from the house) and she and her friend didn't stop talking.  Missy says they were up til 3am but I'm more inclined to believe friend's Mum who said it was more like 9.30pm - LOL.

I won't lie, I did enjoy the peace and quiet but I think Daddy and I also missed our little girl too.

Thursday 5 May 2016

This week I .......

The theme for this week's  Weekly Adoption Shout Out #WASO is  This week I ......

So, with that in mind, this week I ........... feel motivated!!

Woohoo!! First time in a few years that I feel like I do at the moment.

The reason?  Well, I've been thinking for a while about working.  Logistically I cannot do what I did just before we adopted, partly because it meant seeing clients in my house.  No, no, no.

I looked for quite a while for part time jobs, but nothing was forthcoming.  I looked for part time jobs in schools, so I could work term time only, but nothing.   I need to work part time because Missy's separation anxiety is such that me not being around til later in the day will do no good for family relations.  We still need to work lots on attachment and so I need to be around after school as much as I can.

So there I was, during the Easter holidays, generally surfing around the internet when I had a lightbulb moment. What I could do was so obvious - do what I used to do once but freelance. And for confidentiality reasons I'm not going to say what that is though, sorry.  If you're really interested you'll have to DM me  :-)

Since then I've done some research, I'm getting myself up to date with businessy/worky stuff, I've almost finished my website and have two possible clients.  I'm been using my brain cells and it feels good.  Doing it this way means being around for Missy, being able to mange my own time so if I need to #takecare then I can take time out and it means I can feel useful again, my confidence and my identity (which disappeared a while back) will start to grow again.

And the sun's out. Bonus!

In other news, Missy started play therapy.  We saw the same lady a few years ago and it helped somewhat so I'm hoping for a little movement in the positive direction this time.  I have a feeling it won't do much for Missy's stubbornness and need for control, but it's a start.  The therapist certainly does a good keeping Missy's control in check during the session.  I think the life story work will be the most useful.

We took Missy to her second gig to see ELO.  Absolutely brilliant.  Even though she fell asleep for 15 minutes half way through, I think she actually enjoyed it, particularly when Mr Blue Sky came on.  Daddy and I loved every single minute.

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