Thursday 27 September 2012


I'm feeling a tad overwhelmed today and burst into tears whilst sat in car in car park.

The bathroom is still being refurbed and because we've had so much on our minds, we've left it a tad late to sort out bathroom accessories.  I mean, on the grand scheme of things, how important is an illuminated mirror, but it just set me off.  I'd tried everywhere today to find the one we want but in the end we'll just have to order it and fix it ourselves rather than having the fitters do it.  So much more to do in so little time. The house is not the tidiest and we've still to do our introduction book and DVD that will be given to our daughter-to-be in a week's time but can't do that til bathroom is done!

It was the last day today at a place where I do some of my work.   One of my clients brought me flowers and that nearly set me off.  I won't be returning there because birth mum lives in the town and it's looking likely we'll be meeting her in due course which, if I'm honest, I'm really not looking forward to.

Then there was my Facebook timeline today, full of babies.  I think every other post from one of my Facebook friends was a picture or comment about their babies and whilst I'm delighted for them and the fact that baby has now been potty trained, today, just today, it got to me.  For the most part, I am at peace with the fact I won't be a birth mother, but I have the odd moment when things like today just come at me like a powerful right hook.  It's the combination of everything going on at the moment.  I'm ok now, I've done some EFT on myself and had some lemon drizzle cake and tea at M&S whilst reading a parenting magazine, a rather good one actually called The Green Parent and I think I may subscribe.

Oh and then there's the school issue.  The two schools we have as our first and second choice are saying there is no room and, despite our little one being 'looked after' status, it seems there is no budging at the moment and they legally can't have more than 30 kids in the classroom.  So we have an appointment to look at another school on Monday which is a church school.  It's not one that was even on our radar but actually I'm intrigued.  I wouldn't say I'm religious, more spiritual, but I have been thinking about going to church for a while now.  I love their motto which is right up my alley and the values they teach the children.  Daddy-to-be however isn't religious and not interested in the slightest about going to church so I wonder what the Head will think of that, and the fact we aren't married (yet).  I'll update on Monday.

The paperwork from my last post is still there too, plus more has mysteriously appeared on the dining room table.

What else - well the fact that my laptop on which I was typing this post just closed down nearly saw a flood of tears in the lounge, but I have gone upstairs to the PC and thankfully lovely had saved what I had written.  Phew!

Honestly, I would be all evening listing the things that are overwhelming me at the moment but I don't want to bore anyone else who might be reading this blog, so I'll leave it there for now.  I can't even wallow in a bath because we haven't got one!

Matching Panel on Monday - the meeting time has changed three times now.


  1. Good luck with panel! I remember those tearful days.... the waiting, waiting, waiting!


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