Tuesday 4 March 2014

Celebrations and Anxieties

Missy's anxiety levels have ramped up.

We've had the good news that the Final Hearing has taken place, that there were no objections from Birth Mum and that the Celebration Hearing would take place soon.  Missy's SW came round to talk to her about it with us and she seemed to take it in and understand the significance of it.  Her first reactions were of excitement and happy to be here forever with us.  She was delighted that we'd have to get her a new dress for the Celebration Day and even more excited that we would be going out for lunch afterwards.

Since then we've had the date for the Celebration Hearing and explained again to Missy what it means but she is getting very anxious about meeting the Judge.  'No' is the most used word in her vocabulary and she's regressed at times to a toddler.  The slightest thing will trigger her anger and anxiety, often it's food related.  The calm we had at the beginning of the year has temporarily disappeared.  It feels a bit like this time last year although we have a better idea of how to help her therapeutically this year.

More good news for us but another layer of anxiety for Missy is that Daddy has gone back to work.  Hurrah!!  He's got offered a job where the hours are perfect, unlike his last job.  This job is Monday to Friday, 8.30am to 5pm.  We get to have proper weekends together as a family now.  However, because he starts earlier it means he and Missy no longer have breakfast together and he no longer takes Missy to school.  This hasn't gone down well with Missy and several times last week, just before the two of us were due to leave for school, her frustration and upset boiled over with wails of "I want Daddy, I want Daddy, I want Daddy".  She's angry with him, which is a shame because after a period of being anti-Daddy last year she had calmed down and Daddy was her friend again.

We need to tighten those boundaries again, revisit what we did at Theraplay last year, do some more Ladybird relaxation and get our tin hats out to protect us from the physical and verbal ammunition coming our way from Missy.  I so want to hold my hand out to her, like you would a timid animal, but it often gets bitten off.  Daddy and I have to be strong for her at the moment but at times there is only so much abuse one can take, even from a 6 year old.  And if anyone else says "Oh but she'll be fine once the Celebration Hearing happens and she'll forget", I might just deck them, or at least invite them round here for the afternoon (actually no, Missy would be on compliant best behaviour).

Right, best get Missy from school and get the pancakes on.  That's one thing we will all be happy about tonight. Yum!

1 comment:

  1. Congrats on receiving your celebration day date! I admire your strength and attitude towards dealing with Missy's outbursts - it's not always easy to see past the behaviours. Hope you enjoy/ed your pancakes!


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