The Best Bits

Next week The Adoption Social are holding a Twitter chat about #theBestBits as an antidote to last week's chat about child to parent violence.

Readers of my blog may be forgiven in thinking it's all negative in Missy world.  Whilst anger is never far away, I can assure you we do have some good moments.  When Missy's head is filled with anger, red mist, anxieties and worries I wonder how her brain can find space to learn. But she manages it.

So, our Best Bit recently was at the recent parents' evening where and Daddy and I were pleasantly surprised by the progress she has made and how happy her teacher is with her work. Her reading is very good, she loves to write and write and write, she's made huge leaps in her maths, she's now feeling confident enough to put up her hand to answer a question and her artwork is, as usual, to a high standard.  

Her progress started once she had settled in class, not worrying so much about who was coming in and out, who was sitting where and why wasn't so and so on the right chair, was talking to who, who had hurt themselves. Missy is hyper vigilant, she doesn't miss anything. Open the fridge slightly for two seconds and she'll immediately clock all the contents.  Watch Beat the Brain on BBC2 at 6.30pm and you'll do better to beat Missy on certain of the Observation rounds. But at least for now her hyper vigilance is not getting in the way of her school work.

Also at school Missy recently was awarded the weekly class merit for using her initiative and it seems that she has quite a lot of friends.  This week is SATS week and whilst her teacher has very much played them down, I did think Missy would struggle but, no, she was actually looking forward to doing the tests and has been quite chilled out about them.

So they are Missy's best bits for this week.  I'll post some more next week.

My best bits were when Steve Norman of Spandau Ballet followed me on Twitter and Martin Kemp retweeted one of my tweets.  I'm easily pleased.  <sigh>

Retreating to happier times

There is a lovely interview in today's Guardian with Clare Grogan who, for the younger readers, is most well known as the lead singer of 80s pop group Altered Images and star of the film 'Gregory's Girl'.  I'd read quite some time ago that she was an adopter and the article today talks about the books she has written for her adopted daughter.

There is a quote in the article which really resonated with me - "It was a really difficult time in my life, and I think I've always coped with difficult times by going back to happier periods.  I was in a phase when I just wanted to retreat, to be solitary and to reflect on better times."

The reason I like what Clare says is that I am doing just that right now, going back to happier times.  I love the 80s, I was a teenager with a perm, ribbon in my hair, blue eyeliner and a love for both John Taylor and Martin Kemp.  I saw both Duran and Spandau in concert - oh the joy and breathlessness of being 10ft away from John Taylor when I went to see them at Wembley Arena and finding ourselves in the second row from the front. Screeeeam! I still remember my old fan club membership number - 762273.

I'll be screeeeeaming again next week as I'm going to see Spandau Ballet at the O2 - I cannot bloody wait. Until next Tuesday arrives, I've been stalking following them on Twitter, checking out old Spandau videos and TV stuff on YouTube and listening to their music over and over in the car.  If you use YouTube, you'll know it gives you lots of other options and suggestions for things to watch, most of which have been other 80s acts - T'Pau, Culture Club (Victims is so under-rated), early U2, Adam & The Ants (I'll never forget our English teacher playing the part of Prince Charming in the school Christmas entertainment), more Duran, Dexys, Depeche Mode, Ultravox and the list goes on.  I've loved reminiscing and remembering good times in my life back then.  The Bluebells came up the other day and that reminded me of the day I went to the filming of Top of the Pops.  I can't remember who was number 1 but Frankie Goes to Hollywood were there, as was Neil with Hole in My Shoe and Echo & The Bunnymen.   In turn, that reminds of good times at school, sleepovers with school friends - in fact I tweeted one old school friend with a "Do you remember....!"  "Yes!" she replied.  And you know what, we're going to meet up at Easter. Can't wait!

When Steve Strange died a month ago, I played the Fade to Grey video on You Tube - my brother bought the single in 1980 and I played it endlessly.   Missy loved it too although thought he looked weird.  He did and that was the great thing about it!  I then started Googling the top 50s from between 1977 and 1987 and I reckon I knew almost every single mentioned and had a memory relating to that single.  Ahhhhh, those were the days.  Who remembers waiting for the charts to be announced at 12.45pm on a Tuesday lunchtime? We used to sneak a transistor radio into the loos at school just so we could listen and I think we screamed quite loudly when True reached no. 1.   Who couldn't wait for TOTP on a Thursday night?

Next time I'm at my Mum's I need to search out my Duran scrapbooks and my videos on Live Aid - I videoed the whole thing!  Luckily we still have a video player up in the loft so I'll be able to play them.

The point is .... going back to the 80s brings back very happy memories and that's a good thing.  Missy is up and down - a few rocky weeks, then a few calm weeks, then back to weeks of grumpiness, regression and attention (attachment)-seeking, then calmness again.  Currently we're in a rocky week. She's very Highly Strung (geddit?).  Seriously, I'm getting motion-sickness from this rollercoaster.  

But the reflection on these happy times (or is that Reflex-ion - only a few probably will get that!) is bringing a smile to my face and on the whole I've felt pretty good since the beginning of the year which, following, my high anxiety last Autumn is most welcome.

In other news, my Horticulture course is going well and I am loving being in the fresh air.  And I've already passed several assessments.  High five me!

Right, I think I need an 80s fix.  Cue YouTube.