Friday 7 February 2014

The Leaf

After school Missy has a drink and a snack whilst watching some TV and quite often I sit nearby with a cuppa. Sometimes she's quiet and at other times she witters constantly. Last Monday she was wittering away about this and that - "actually mummy I don't like this juice anymore can I have milk when is Dr Ranj on again Tommy hurt himself at school and teacher put a plaster on whats for tea can I have a leaf to stop me thinking about old mummy Peter Rabbit is my favourite when is it on can I take a game to Grandma's".  Hang on! Rewind! What was that about a leaf?

Missy had seen something on TV about a lucky leaf; I'm guessing a four leaf clover but I've looked through the CBeebies listing for that day and couldn't find anything.  She decided a leaf would help her stop having dreams about birth mum and help her have happy thoughts. She would put it under her pillow and could also take it to school. And could I make it please? Well I'm not really known for my craft skills but nevertheless Missy chose some felt, drew the shape of leaf she wanted and I set about making a little stuffed leaf for her.

I'm quite proud of my resulting leaf and Missy has had it with her ever since, particularly under her pillow at night.  I'm hoping the leaf will help comfort for her in the next few weeks as I suspect anxiety levels will be raised prior to the Celebration Hearing.  We haven't got a confirmed date yet but the Final Hearing is imminent and the SW will confirm a date then.  Missy doesn't know about the Hearings yet and we and her SW will have a conversation with her next week.  How she will react we just don't know.  It may be that the Celebration Day tells her that we really are forever and her anxiety levels reduce, or it may increase her current worries about never seeing her birth mum again before she dies.  We've had lot of tears about this in the last few weeks and we're not really sure what is best to say.  We try to help her understand why she is here with us and not birth mum but any suggestions regarding dying would be most welcome.


  1. Your leaf is awesome! Hoping that things around the court dates and Celebration Hearing go well for you all.

  2. Lovely post. And what a wonderful coping strategy she found for herself. I often wonder about how our little one will react when he is old enough to be thinking these thoughts. Great that she found her own way to process the mix of emotions that must be churning around inside her, whether consciously or unconsciously.

    I think that the Cbeebies programme was Tilly and Friends. Pretty sure that I saw that one with our little one. Hector the pig lost his lucky leaf that helps him feel brave and needed it to go out into the garden and play where he had seen a spider. Lovely story and a really uplifting one. So good that it hit the mark with your little one too.


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