Wednesday, 6 November 2013

Adoption paperwork, Tate Modern, Mammograms and Tantrums

We've done it, we've posted the adoption application paperwork. It's quite appropriate really that we've sent it this week and it's National Adoption Week.  No idea how long things will take now so I guess we just sit back and wait.  I'm quite glad to get it out the way really.

So, last week was half term and Daddy was off all week (actually he's off all the time now, hurrah!, until he find a new job).  Half term went ok actually.  We had some lovely days out, including doing one of our favourite walks down by the river.  This time last year we went on the same walk and Missy moaned constantly, but a year on she enjoyed it (probably helped by the stop at the riverside cafe).   We also went up to London for the day where we climbed 311 stairs up The Monument, went to Borough Market (Missy tried Vietnamese curry and loved it) and went to the Tate Modern.

I do love that kids say what they think, and where better than an art gallery.  I'm not a huge art lover although I do love Monet and do like visiting the National Portrait Gallery, but I'm afraid I just don't get some of the abstract stuff at Tate Modern.  I mean, come on, a plain canvas with a cut in it, an old pair of net curtains and another canvass painted entirely in black - I just don't get it.  Missy can do miles better.  I loved her thoughts on one particular picture - a canvass painted in blue with a white shape and a couple of other shapes which was supposed to represent a horse in a dream  - "it's rubbish!", said Missy, not too quietly. I laughed.  We left soon afterwards and headed up to Leicester Square for a massive treat, taking Missy to the Haagen Daz cafe.  Ice cream?!  For dinner?!  Well, it was a treat and it wasn't a school night.  Not surprisingly, she didn't sleep on the journey home.

One day last week we had to get my Mum over to babysit for the morning as I had an appointment at the breast clinic.  I had experienced some pain and felt a small lump, even though I'm fairly lumpy anyway.  Four hours we there!  Not the best experience of my life, mammograms are bloody uncomfortable and the hospital itself is so drab it can send you into a state of depression just sitting there.  Just relax, said the radiographer. I can't with the plate sticking in my bloody ribs!  Anyway, all is well.  Although with all the stress of the last two years, I wouldn't have been surprised if news had not been so positive.  I'm glad we waited to send in the papework because if results had shown something wrong, I'm not sure how we could have gone further with the adoption legalities.

Since my last blog, we've also had Parent Consultation Day at school.  It's good to know that Missy is doing ok academically, no worries from the teacher, although numbers isn't her strong point.  Not surprisingly, it's the social side of things that Missy still has problems with.  If someone isn't sharing, or tells tales, it's most likely that Missy will be the one who starts to wail.  She's been wailing a lot lately.   But generally, she's quiet at school, but as I explained to teacher it's because she is being compliant and her lack of self-esteem means she desperately wants to please.  Teacher is going to have a think about how to help Missy and we'll have a longer discussion at the forthcoming IEP meeting.   Sometimes I just can't fathom what triggers Missy's change of behaviour, but I guess sometimes there is just no answer.  Yesterday she specifically asked for a plait in her hair, and stood there happily whilst I did it.  As soon as I finished she turned and shouted "But I didn't want a plait in my hair!", and proceeded to have a tantrum.  This morning she growled at us and showed her teeth - honestly, it's very disturbing to see a little 6 year old girl act like a dog.  Harsh to say that but if you saw her you'd think the same.  Trying to comfort her is difficult as she screams she doesn't want anyone to touch her, but leaving her to calm down also results in further tantrums.  Sometimes she can regulate herself and at other times she can't, and quite often we don't know what to do either.  I think Daddy and I need to have another review of our parenting style - I've been reading about "Love Bombing", a technique from Olive James, where you literally bomb your child with love whilst giving them a day where they can choose what goes.  Sounds simple, sounds also a recipe for disaster but testimonials are positive so I'll let you know how we get on once we've tried it.

In other news, I actually really like the new Little Mix and One Direction singles.  There I said it, and I'm no teenager.

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