Saturday 26 October 2013

One Year Ago Today .....

This post links up with #WASO on The Adoption Social and this week's theme is the Future.

One year ago today Missy came home to us.

One year ago my and Daddy's life changed beyond anything we could imagine.

We've survived, just about in tact.  Healthwise, it's been a crap year for me.  For someone generally pretty healthy, I've had so many colds, D&V, depression and back pain.  Daddy got to the end of his tether with his job (and so did I) and tomorrow is his last day - hurrah!

Missy had grown in so many years, not just physically.  In fact this morning both Daddy and I commented that she seems to have had a growth spurt recently.  Even though her emotions are up and down, she's come on leaps and bounds in so many other ways - she understands more about right and wrong, she is funny, she's stopped telling whopping lies (the odd one or two sneak in), she can be delightful, she is thoughtful, her reading has improved no end, her anxiety about certain things is lessening, she is catching up with her peers in terms of social behaviour and she copes with change pretty well for the most part.    The graph below is how I see the last year - some ups, some downs all the way along, but the overall result at the end is up.

As Daddy is working today and not home til after Missy's tea time, we are going to celebrate with a family meal next week but for today I've said that Missy can choose her favourite thing for her tea.  Pizza, of course.  We were also so proud of her this morning as she did a brilliant run of 1.7 miles and beat her PB by 3 minutes.   I'm not sure how other people celebrate this time, if indeed they do.  Once the adoption order goes through, we might end up celebrating that day instead, not sure.  One friend very thoughtfully sent a One Year Anniversary card which was lovely, particularly as I haven't heard from her much this year.  I don't suppose anyone else will remember it's been one whole year.

But what of the future?   I hope her anger is a 'phase', maybe Year 1-itis (I'm sure I didn't get this much homework when I was 6).   I hope her anger doesn't get in her way as she grows up as she has so much potential.  I hope her self-esteem improves and doesn't hold her back.  I hope her relationship with food doesn't impact on her life.  I hope we can build a great mother-daughter relationship. I also hope we can build a positive relationship with her much older half-siblings when the time is right.

For me and Daddy, I hope he can find a great job that is Monday to Friday although I'm really not sure what I want to do.  Being self-employed is too hard for me at the moment as I don't feel emotionally strong enough, but I lack so much confidence to go back to being an employee.

I think we just need to continue month by month, year by year at the moment.  Maybe we should live by the quote from Buddha - "Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present".


  1. Congratulations, reading your story from the start up until here there has been so much change! You seem so much happier and i hope this continues over the coming years with your lovely little family x

  2. Congratulations for getting through the year under less than ideal circumstances! The present is the building blocks for the future, so I think it's very sensible for you to focus on the present for now, getting things straight little by little. I hope you find the right vocation that allows your confidence to grow - -good luck!

  3. Congratulations! I totally agree with you about going month by month, year by year. Concentrate on now and the rest will follow - at least that's the motto we're living by at the moment (and we're all having a much better time).

    Thanks for linking to #WASO :-) x

  4. Congratulations on this milestone! And it's lovely to read such a positive assessment of the past year, even though you've clearly had your ups and downs :)


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