Thursday 19 September 2013

Theraplay Review and a big change

Firstly, do you like the new colour of the blog?  I like the autumnal feel and the slight quirkyness of it.

Today we had a review meeting with the Theraplay therapist just to discuss how the summer had gone and to decide if we need more sessions.  Daddy came too.  I emailed her in the week with a summary of the two months since we'd last had a session and discussed one or two points such as her food issue, anger management and her relationship with Daddy (which I think is brilliant).  The therapist felt that her attachment to Daddy was much quicker than me because she had had experience of a chaotic birth mum, so wasn't sure what I'd be like and therefore tested me a lot, whereas she'd never experienced a father figure before and so just assume that how Daddy acted was right.  I hadn't looked at it from that point of view before.  Daddy isn't still sure he feels like a Daddy yet, he says he feels like a Guardian, but that's a step forward from a few months ago.  I think he makes a great Daddy.

The post adoption support social worker was there too and both asked us if there was any more support we needed.  I feel like we've reached a plateau at the moment but feel that when Missy turns 8/9, at the age when cognition is greater, that she may need to return for some sessions.  Before we put in the adoption order we wanted to make sure that this support would still be available post adoption.  I must have asked several times and each time they assured me it would still be available which is very comforting to know.   So, for now, weekly Theraplay sessions have stopped until such time we feel we need them again.

In other news, and it's a whopper really, Daddy has decided to resign from his job.

A risk yes, but we'll take it.  For any prospective adopters reading this blog, if you are in a couple and one or both of you work on a rota basis, think very hard about your work situation.  Daddy currently works five days in seven, always has to be in on a Saturday and most Sundays.  Working at weekends doesn't mix when you adopt a child who goes to school.  When Daddy isn't working he sees Missy in the morning, and then again 3.30pm til 7pm.  We can't go out for family days out and Daddy is too knackered from work on his days off to want to do much.  Daddy has been very stressed lately and it all came to a head this week.  I'm fully supportive and we have enough in the bank to keep us comfortable for a while whilst Daddy looks for a Monday to Friday job.  He has a fantastic work ethic and will work bloody hard during the week, it's just that working at weekends doesn't work for us as adopters.   And we'll get a proper Christmas, hurrah!  Daddy's always had to work Christmas Eve and is usually back in work on Boxing Day or the day after.

I think it can only strengthen the family unit as there is soooooo much we can do all together at weekends.  We told the therapist and the post adoption support worker yesterday and they also felt it will be very good for us.

Right, time to go to the hospital for Missy's appointment with the eye consultant.  Oh joy. Do you know, they charge £3.50 for parking?! Out-flippin-rageous.


6 comments:

  1. Wow, lots of big news then - sounds like theraplay has gone well for now, PAS is in place and daddy's resignation is a big step. But it all sounds positive and I'm really pleased for you all. I think it's very brave resigning without another job to go to, and I really admire Daddy for doing it for the sake of his family.

    And £3.50?? OMG. We've just returned from hospital for Dollop's post broken leg check up and it's £2 there for 2 hours, which I think is bad enough. Hope Missy gets on OK x

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  2. Thanks Vicki. Yes, it's a massive step but he's so stressed and I'm positive it will work out ok. If necessary I can return to work whilst he stays home. Missy was fine at the hospital but back on eye drops - and we were only there for half an hour but still had to pay the car park ransom!

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  3. hope it all works out ok with the job changes - family time will be great for you so it should be win win, after the bits of stress - and as for 3.50... yes outrageous. think our local is currently about 3 quid.

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  4. It it's great that you are being asked what support you think you need and that you can revisit the therapy as and when you think it might be needed. All sounds very positive.

    I think for any parents where a parent works shifts it must be hard, but even more so when you are dealing with trying to form attachments with a child. I, for a short time, worked on Saturdays and it was so hard for us all. Daddy found it a tough day and then we had to adjust back to family mode for the Sunday and if it didn't go well the whole weekend was deemed a disaster. I really hope it all works out for you and he gets a job soon.

    And don't start me on hospital parking fees, scandalous.

    Thanks for being part of the Weekly Adoption Shout Out.

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  5. It it's great that you are being asked what support you think you need and that you can revisit the therapy as and when you think it might be needed. All sounds very positive.

    I think for any parents where a parent works shifts it must be hard, but even more so when you are dealing with trying to form attachments with a child. I, for a short time, worked on Saturdays and it was so hard for us all. Daddy found it a tough day and then we had to adjust back to family mode for the Sunday and if it didn't go well the whole weekend was deemed a disaster. I really hope it all works out for you and he gets a job soon.

    And don't start me on hospital parking fees, scandalous.

    Thanks for being part of the Weekly Adoption Shout Out.

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  6. I do like the new blog design :) And I'm equally outraged by the hospital parking fees, which are similar to ours. I don't want to incite rebellion but I once received a parking ticket at the hospital after rushing a toddler in during the night by ambulance (I followed in the car) and not having change to get a ticket. The parking ticket was issued by a private company. I took advice and found that they have no legal right to charge punitive fees (this was £70!) and if you ignore it, they will go away. I did, and they did! This doesn't work for parking tickets issued by your local authority though.

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