Tuesday, 11 December 2012

Root canal and adoption don't go

I had my second treatment at the dentist this morning on one tooth's root canal and I still have to go back for a third time.  The injection is almost worn off and I have the painkillers ready and waiting, and no doubt I'll have to take them for several days.  I usually try to avoid painkillers and go down the natural route, but I can't put up with the pain of the tooth and the pain of a 5 year old at the same time.

Saying that, the last two days so far have been ok with Missy.  It's like we are making very very tiny steps forward with a few big leaps backwards and then forwards again.  Hopefully she is beginning to learn the boundaries and beginning to feel a little more comfortable here.  We're still feeling like its a minefield we are stepping through when she's around, we don't want to make the wrong move and BOOM! But I think we are all learning.

I was reading a page on a website last night from Alison Astair, The Parenting Coach on which she describes ages and stages of children.  I looked at the 5-6 page and, yes, there are one or two points on there I can tick for Missy, but there are far more on the 4-5 age section.  Alison says "They love to tell you "jokes", are enthusiastic, constantly talking and have vivid imaginations.  Reality and "make believe" are often confused and you will hear exaggerated stories".  Alison also explains that this age group will be very independent, often jealous, can be bossy and throws tantrums over minor irritations.  They also find calling people names like "poo poo head" hilariously funny!   Oh yes, that's definitely Missy.  I don't think she's too far behind but I'm sure she has some minor developmental delay.  I saw it again when I picked her up from school and the way she is compared to her classmates.  I'm not worried though, she'll catch up.

Daddy and I also think we've sussed the main reason she wets her knickers.  Of course, some of it will be anxiety but the main reason we think is that she doesn't sit on the toilet properly and so some of her wee goes on the seat and knickers.  Not surprising really when it's highly likely she wasn't potty trained properly and was still often in nappies at three and a half.  So we made a game of it and I sat on the toilet (with my jeans still on!) showing her how she needs to sit back on the seat without falling into the toilet.  She thought this was hilarious.  So we'll see how she fares.

We had our SW and the family finder SW around last night to see how we are getting on.  We're very honest with them, it's the only way to be.  We had a good chat and explained our issues.  However, when one of them tried to explain how adopters often go through what we are feeling and in a couple of years virtually can't remember the pain and likening it to not remembering labour pain, was a little, erm, insensitive I thought considering that, er, no, I don't know what labour pain is like and NEVER WILL!  That's why we've adopted!

They did offer some practical advice though and have also offered us play therapy which I'm really happy with.  I'm off to have a consultation tomorrow with the play therapist and see what she suggests.

Right now though, I'm off to find those painkillers.  Ouch!

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