So that was Christmas

This year really felt like a family Christmas.  This year we could carry on with traditions that we started over the last two Christmasses which was fun. Missy was a lot more excited this year, counting down the days, talking about Santa, enjoying helping to decorate the tree. I don't know what age children begin to stop believing in Santa but Missy is still in full believe mode which is so lovely.

Of course the excitement was not without it negative side. More excitement meant more overwhelm, tears and tiredness in the few days before the big day, but on the whole Missy has been fine. She slept ok on Christmas Eve and only came into us at 6.45am, excited that Father Christmas had left a stocking. In this house, it's ok to leave a stocking in her room, although I can understand why many of our children cannot cope with this.

After breaky we headed to my mum for two nights. Christmas Day saw a few strops, cheekiness and tears - plus I didn't feel well, so not the best day ever but I can't complain really. Boxing Day at mum's was better and  included a visit from my cousin and two of her three grown up children, meaning new family members for Missy to meet. She was shy for ooooh two minutes and then felt completely comfortable with them - a little too comfortable on occasion, for Missy can be like a limpet sometimes and we have to prise her off people, which she hates - a reminder that we must continue to emphasise our role as primary carers.  Three words from my cousin that made my heart sing was "I get her".  I only learnt very recently that my amazing cousin had had a pretty shitty childhood and can understand some of Missy's issues and anxieties. Despite this, my lovely cousin has brought up three wonderful children. She is such a lovely genuine funny person with a real heart and it gives me great hope for Missy in the future.

The following day Missy met even more family members for the first time at a family lunch we had with my brother's family. There were eleven adults and four children. Missy was great and played so nicely with the other children, all younger than her. The adults had starters whilst the children had their main course, then the children had their puddings whilst we had our main courses followed by our puddings.  I'm quite sure that a year ago Missy would have got exceedingly grumpy over the fact we had three courses whereas she didn't.  As her food anxiety continues to decrease, on Saturday this meant she accepted the situation pretty well (although I noticed she was eyeing up Daddy's chips).  Instead, she played whilst we ate our puddings. I was really quite proud of her although we kept a little eye on her as she can, at times, begin to 'parent' other children.

Yesterday we had a lovely day, which mostly consisted of a very long 4 mile walk through the frost-covered woods near our house.  Slightly over midway is a pub so we stopped their for a quick refuel and then off we went again.  It was great to get out in the fresh air and sunshine on a perfect winter's day, the type of winter's day I absolutely love.

There have been times over Christmas when therapeutic parenting has got lost amongst the screwed up wrapping paper but I think we've all done really well on the whole (says me as Missy erupts upstairs, oh dear).  No, really, it's been a pretty good Christmas.  Some regression, some great humour, some hilarious moments and some loving times too.  I think as we move into 2015 we are on the up.

Now, where's my Baileys.

A Day in the Life

The post is linking up with The Adoption Social Weekly Shout Out #WASO where this week's theme is A Day in the Life ...


It's 7.00am and the alarm has gone off.  Daddy and I awake bleary-eyed and cling on to the last minutes before the Snooze alarm goes.  Missy is already awake and probably has been for the last half hour (although today she put on her light at 5.30am so Daddy had to go in and explain it was still sleepy time). We never know what sort of mood she'll be in first thing.

I get up first, go downstairs, say hello to the cats, make us all a cup of tea, feed the cats and then start making Missy's school lunch.  I prefer making her lunch as I feel she gets a better balance of nutrients and doesn't overload on wheat, but when the free school meals comes in next September I think we'll go with them.  Missy usually hangs around me whilst I'm making lunch, just to check what's going in.  Food anxiety is still prevalent.  Meanwhile Daddy has a shower before giving Missy a wash.  Then it's my turn in the shower whilst Daddy and Missy have their breakfast.  She's allowed to play once her teeth and hair are done and her bed is made but she faffs about so much that she really doesn't get much play in before it's time to go to school.

The morning school run is nearly always done by Daddy.  It fitted in with his old work hours and we've done it that way ever since.  It's one of the things the SWs loved - the fact that we would have breakfast together and Missy could go to school with Daddy.  Meanwhile I'm catching up on emails, or emptying the dishwasher or ironing or some other job that needs doing.

Whilst Missy is at school, I must admit I faff a bit.  I waste time and really need to get my behind in gear and sort out a loose timetable for me during the week.  I'm a procrastinator these days.  When I worked as a PA I was hugely organised but it's a different story now.  Plus, as Daddy is off work at the mo and when he's having a break from job hunting, we go shopping, have coffee. It's lovely having him around more.

Some days I might meet up with a friend but most of them work.  Once a month we'll meet up with the local adoption coffee group, which I value hugely.  Daddy and I also meet up once a month with four other adopters whose children all go to the school.  We meet in the local coffee shop and have a right laugh - we probably moan too much but we're letting off steam.

3.15pm comes around to quickly and it's time for me to collect Missy from school.  I never know what sort of mood she'll be in, sometimes good, sometimes not, though she does talk to me in the car nowadays which she never used to do in the first few months.  After school, snack is the first thing on Missy's mind and then we'll either play a game, do some drawing, play hairdressers, watch some Cbeebies (although I feel Missy is beginning to outgrow them), swimming lessons one day a week, go to the park in warmer weather - really whatever Missy fancies doing.  After her tea at 5.15pm we'll listen to her read her school book, finish off any other homework and let Missy carry on playing until 7.00pm when it's time for bed.  We aim for quiet time from about 6.30pm but it never really happens. Daddy and I take turns doing the bedtime routine and reading a story but we always both give her a goodnight hug and kiss. As Missy is always on the go, it's no surprise that she's virtually asleep by the time the light goes out.

And then we collapse on the sofa.

Our evenings are spent on the sofa.  I used to wonder why my Mum spent all evening on the sofa after tea and now I know why. Exhaustion.   Daddy and I will have tea, taking it in turns to make it, and then watch telly, read or play on the ipad before we collapse into bed around 10pm.

Ready for another day.

We're quite boring really and we both know we need to get out more and either find some new interests or reignite old ones. But I think the routine is important for Missy and there's plenty of time ahead to do things differently.