Sorry blog for not visiting you for a month, it's very remiss of me. To be honest, I've just felt, well, meh. Not depressed but just a feeling of 'can't be arsed'. But I'm back now after a good morning - not only have Take That been confirmed for CarFest, a friend has offered me a ticket to see them in June and I had a lovely meeting with school, so feeling pretty chipper.
Yesterday I wasn't feeling so chipper. I asked Missy to come over because her behaviour wasn't acceptable. "I don't want to look at your ugly face" she snarled. Nice. Then after school yesterday I was the 'most meanest horrible mummy" because I wouldn't take her to the park and then when I said no to some more food (because it was tea time very shortly) she kicked me twice and walked off. Lovely.
But then last Sunday we did have a chipper day because we were in London cheering on the marathon runners in the final few miles. Missy loves it, screaming and shouting at them, getting high fives and handing out jelly babies. She was smiling and giggling on the train there and back and making other people smile with her infectious laughter. It was a good day.
Since I last blogged, we've had an appointment with CAMHS which went ok I think, although I did want to say out loud in a sarcastic tone "Duh! Really?" when the lady looked us triumphantly when Missy mentioned birth mum. "There, that's it, it's all about her past!". No shit.
Anyway, that comment aside, the lady at CAMHS seemed quite helpful and understanding and has already made us further appointments as part of the overall assessment. I just hope some meaningful support comes of it. The lady briefly mentioned art therapy but I've just found out that school can offer that anyway. Missy meets once a week with a teacher who is also the pastoral care worker. She's brilliant, I really love chatting to her, she afforded me over an hour today. She gets it. I don't talk to the SENCO, I just talk to Missy's main teacher and the pastoral care worker. They see a very different Missy on the whole, although interestingly some negative stuff has been bubbling recently in the way of control and manipulation of friends. I'm beginning to see more and more how Missy can't really cope in a group and it's her social skills that need some assistance. Unsurprisingly, control is a big thing for Missy and we're still learning how to manage that at home. I came away from school feeling much happier and supported.
Talking of support, the Government' Adoption Support Fund goes live tomorrow - £19m is being made available to help adoptive families. There was a great piece on BBC Breakfast this morning with lovely Amanda Boorman from The Open Nest Charity and her daughter Jazz, plus the amazing Sally Donovan, author of No Matter What and The Unofficial Guide to Adopting (I'll add the Sally interview when I have a link). The last I heard, albeit several weeks ago, was that our local authority knew very little about the fund and how it would be administered. I really hope by now they've got their act in gear because I shall be ringing them soon, if not for Missy then for me.
In other news, I'm loving the horticulture course I'm on. Being out in the fresh air, learning, talking to people about things other than children! We're half way through and I'm thinking of signing up to another course that goes towards the overall diploma. For Missy, I'm looking at Brownies as I think the social interaction will help a lot, the sense of responsibility doing the badges, the uniform she'll love to wear and the fun she'll have. I spoke with the Brown Owl of one pack, sadly too far from us, and they have a grand ol' time.